This blog is me. The good, the bad, the ugly and sometimes the irritable. It is my point of view, and most of the time its a joke. Humor does not always come accross evenly when read, but in my intentions..its there. I should not feel the need to write a disclaimer to my own blog, but I will anyway. Its supposed to be real and its supposed to be funny. Roll with it.
How to love the gym;
Please tell me because I cannot figure it out. In case you dont know me personally I will tell you that overall, I am basically a fit person. On a very basic level, my day job requires me to stand up, get down on the floor and climb up high shelves all day. This does work the quads. Okay after reading that you are probably thinking, “thats not fitness” and you are right, but I am just trying to make the point that I do not have a desk job, I have an active job for the fact that its indoors.
I completed my first triathlon this past October, and I am currently training for my first half marathon. I ride my road bike fairly often, depending on who you ask, but if you want a number, I do about a 50mile ride most weeks, but yes there are weeks that go by and somehow I don’t manage to get on the road once. I am one of those on again off again people when it comes to yoga, only because of the price and it not being located super close to my house. I am also a yoga snob-meaning I will only do yoga at a real studio-not the gym. I practice swimming, because I fully intend to compete in another tri, and I am just overall an outdoor active type of person. Oh, and I love to rollerblade. If you saw me you would say Im basically fit, that Ive got decent muscle tone when I flex, but not a lot of clear muscle tone when I dont. Ill just throw these numbers out there for the sake of me trying to keep up with, and what the heck, beat them. As of last week I have been sitting at a steady 106/107 lbs, with a body fat percentage of 16. I am 5’3″. I did go to vegas for 4 days last week, and ate, drank and gambled..so I am at 109 right this minute, but that wont last long.
Okay so why am I telling you all this? To paint you a picture, mainly a picture that I am not a fat slob, or an out of shape load of blubber. It has been starting to warm up here in SoCal and my training for the Rock and Roll half marathon in San Diego, well its getting slightly more difficult because of said heat. I have always hated gyms, because they are inside, boring and a concrete block of sukiness. However, this 1/2 is important to me and I thought that maybe I would give running *gasp* on a treadmill a try. As reluctant as I am about this, it seems necessary, because its only gonna get hotter. Now, understand please that I LOVE the heat, but its the running in the heat that is hard, especially when all of my running has been in what has been the coldest winter in memory for us here.
So I go to the local gym..I wont name it, but I will say that it is open all hours of the day..there, got it? I make an attempt to do a family add-on to my brother in laws membership. We go back and forth, because as expected the sales guy is trying to highball me on the price. He tries telling me all about some of the different things they offer blah blah blah. Im sitting here thinking; “I know what a treadmill is, and believe it or not I know what weights are too..duh”. The guy keeps going on trying to sell me a membership. What he doesnt understand is that if Im in there already, Im obviously sold on the whole gym thing, its just the price that I need to bring down. As Ive mentioned, I hate the gym, so its not worth a lot of my money. So he obviously sees that I am understanding his eliptical vs treadmill mumbo jumbo and here it comes, the comment that ensured I will never join this gym, just on principle. I do a lot on principle, sometimes to a fault because I will make my life more inconvienent just to make a point.
So the guy says to me..me the pretty fit girl..and I really am not trying to toot my own horn here, but I do get complements, and strangers have stopped me on several occasions to tell me they love my arms, or my legs (never ever my abs, never ). Friends will also compliment me this way, and while I believe I have lots of improvements to make in my tone and definition, its just matter of fact that I am decently fit. Okay so the comment; the guy says to me…”You look like a person who used to work out, you look like an ex-athelete. So Im sure you remember a lot about the different machines.” Did you hear that? “USED to work out”???? really, I, I look like a person who USED to work out? Um hello, but were you looking at a mirror my friend, or perhaps your own reflection in the glass surrounding this cubicle we are sitting in? Because dear salesman at blankblankhourfitness, you sir look like a person that USED to work out.
A very long time ago.
Okay, Ill say this again, because I am trying not to come off as someone who thinks she’s the shit, or whatever it is we think of women when they daresay anything positive about themselves instead of tearing down their bodies in public; but I am basically fit. And this salesman is on the south side of totally unfit. For whatever reason, I just dont like it when someone who is clearly obese, or otherwise fat (and p.s. if you have over 30% body fat..you are obese, and its high time we start saying it) starts giving me words and wisdom on diet and exercise. Drives me nuts.
So I am just irritated with this dude and I have half a mind to tell him to arm wrestle me, or go for a race with me outside..oh wait, this is a gym..they would probably discourage outdoor fitness. (people..you can be free; you can run and jump and play outside..shhh its a secret gyms dont want you to know) So while Im contemplating the arm wrestle, the bike race or even a lift off..I could easily beat him endurance wise, I wonder if I can get a better price if I beat him. I suppose not because he would have been totally humiliated by a little girl! HA! So, if this is how the salesmen are trained here..try and embarass or guilt someone into a membership..well it ain’t workin’ on me there buddy. I laugh in the face of the obese man who dare call me unfit. I left his office/glass cubicle room there shortly. I suppose I ought to have stayed awhile longer, to spare the next poor sap that gets stuck with this guy.
So, I really dont mean to be a snob here, but if I look like I work out more in a month than you have in the past ten years, you dont get to make comments to me about my level of fitness not being up to your indoor sucky standards. In case anyone was wondering, the unpredictability of an outdoor adventure ALWAYS offers more fitness than the mundane even floored, even tempo, no variable crap fitness you will get on an indoor machine. Always.
Ill buy some extra GU and plant a couple extra water bottles in bushes on my long runs…and Ill spend the $ the gym wanted on some sunscreen and a hat with vents.
Lets go outside.