my view from the footwear floor

It’s always a fun day at work when you get to stare at an 80 year old mans hairy balls. Sometimes I really feel like Im on a hidden camera show with the funny shit that happens to me. So this man comes in, he is clearly a runner..he’s got his short old school running shorts on and running shoes, a red sweatband and his
Loma Linda Lopers running club shirt. You can tell he is a character right from the start. So he tells me he is going on a 7 day hike in the Sierras and he has never gone hiking and needs some boots. This is never easy..the way hiking boots go now days you have people hiking Whitney in their Converse..and taking their soles out. Then the next guy has been a boy scout all his life and wont go on a Nature walk without wearing what practically amounts to Mountaineering boots for fear that he might brake his ankles. So when you have never hiked before I have a lot of questions before we can get started. People always want the ‘best’ boot. There is no best boot, its whats best for you, your foot type, the way you walk, and where you are going. Okay but thats a subject for another day.

Okay so 79 year old runner about to embark on his first hike..a 7 day hike needs some boots. We talk running for a little bit, we talk hiking a little bit. I get to know this guy so I can pick him a boot. So he puts these boots on and of course just like every other novice hiker, he tightens the top part of the laces and leaves the rest all loose and just waiting to fail him on the trail. So..I being the proffessional I am-knowing what I may be getting myself into if I bend down to tie these shoes and take it..part of my job today. So I get down on the floor..I always prefer the floor to a bench..Im little and i need leverage to get these huge dudes ankles locked down into their boots.  And now comes what we have all been waiting for..yes the 79 year old runner man is in fact, not wearing underwear. Lovely hairy balls not two feel from my face. I hold my breath because Im a little scared of breathing any stench in right now. So I tied this guys shoes, I taught him all about some techniques ang gave hime some tips. I kept waiting for one of my coworkers to come by and see what I was going thru..if only so they could enjoy a good laugh with me at a later time..but no, no one ever came. I had to share this experience only with myself. Sucks.

Next comes in the lady who doesnt like to shave her legs because as she says: “I retain water and it helps protect me.” WTF?? That one Im not quite sure about but okay..no biggie, you dont have to shave your legs..and you sure dont have to make up weird excuses to me about it.

Next comes in a lady who’s outfit looks about as close to Minnie Mouse as you can get..right down to the high heals with socks.

It was an interesting day…

I did meet a really cool chick right at the end, that helped me leave in a much better mood. She was a yoga instructor from Center of Gravity..and we knew a few of the same people.  Props to all the legit yoga instructors out there that keep this world balanced.

Hit me up-lets go outside!