100 miles of nowhere is quickly approaching! “What?”-you say. Its wildly bizarre and just crazy enough to get me, along with hundreds of other people really excited.
For me, it all began a few months ago when I was introduced to a quite entertaining blog, I would describe it as a comedic satire on cycling, cycling related topics and sometimes non-cycling related topics, that are just, in fact, related to the life of the cyclist. Get it? Okay good..I pride myself in my ability to be very clear about things. Your welcome.
So the blog is Fatcyclist.com and its hilarious and inspiring and real. The only real complaint I have about it is that Fatty(the author) does not post daily. He has a life..which, I suppose gives him things to blog about. While I understand him having said life, I just cant get enough of his humor, I have read thru the archives and just cant get enough. Im ready for Fattys book..hopefully that is in the works.
Okay so back to the 100 miles of nowhere whatever that is… Fatty had this idea a few years back to ride 100 miles in his rollers (basically same concept as a bike trainer..give or take a few details..like keeping your balance). Why? Just to see if he could. Its one of those things you just “get” and think is cool or funny, or you dont “get”. When you dont “get” it, it is really kind of hard to explain, but alas, Ill try.
He just wanted to see if he could. I cant really go into explaining his personal motivation, but I can sure go into explaining mine. See, Fattys wife Susan had cancer, and since he had a passion for cycling, along with a passion for hating cancer..he found a way to mix the two and got some fundraising going with the LiveStrong Foundation. Now, I was not a reader/fan of Fatty back then, and I only know all of this from reading the archives. (Reading about the last 4 years of this guys life over the course of just 3 days or so…Wow! It hits ya, ya know? He is strong and real and I really like the guy…stranger that he may be) Fatty has been pretty successful at raising money to fight cancer-which is awesome! His wife Susan has since passed away, and Fatty is still fighting..because cancer sucks!
So he did the 100 miles in his rollers, and blogged about it. Which, apparently proved interesting because the following year he did it again-only this time it became a real event! Thats right…there are a bunch of lunatics out there that are willing to pay money (which goes to Fatty’s livestrong foundation) to get a t-shirt and some other swag, then ride 100 miles on their trainers, or around their block! All on the same day. Sounds pretty stupid. But then again, it sounds pretty cool. Hmmm.
So now its the 3rd annual 100 miles of nowhere, and I have become a lunatic.
I am waiting impatiently for my race packet (package) to come in the mail. I am very nervous that I ordered my shirt too small. This shirt, for me is the Ultimate among race t-shirts. Its just the coolest one. For several reasons:
1. Only 500 people get one..which makes it kind of elite:)
2. It will be a conversation starter…most race shirts are..but this one will surely only start conversations will wildly crazy lunatics like myself who either recognize the shirt from his website, or actually read it and dare to ask what the heck its all about.
3. Its made by Americal Apparel and Twin Six, which are two cool brands…and the American Apparel part is what Im worried about. I didnt think about it when I ordered, but their shirts are super small…so I really hope my size small arrives bigger than a baby doll size.
So 100 miles to nowhere is an event, in which your race fees go to Fatty’s LiveStrong Foundation, you get to ride 100 miles (or 50 or 25…the rules are very lax) or run a set # of miles or swim..its really up to you. You get cool swag, and pick your own course!! All for a very good cause. So if this sounds exciting to you too..then you are super cool and you get it! and we should hang out more! And if this sounds stupid and crazy…and you think Im a lunatic, well you are normal and right:) You can stop by and see just how much fun I am NOT having when I ride this event, because..I can assure you, as excited as I am..I probably will want to shoot myself after about mile five on a trainer.
As the day is quickly approaching, I have to decide where I want to ride (or should I be saying, where I dont want to ride?). One option is the living room, in front of the T.V. so I can watch..what? It sounds like a good idea, but I cant really think of any shows I care about anymore…any suggestions? -And if you suggest, you must be willing to let me borrow said DVD’s 2 mondays from today. Option two is taking my trainer down to the beach and setting up somewhere I can see the waves. Im not sure if its possible to put my trainer on top of a beach blanket, on the sand, right down near the waves. I suppose I will have to move a few times as the tide changes?? I think this could be fun because I will be looking at the ocean (always amazing) and I might get some people come by and chat with me, helping the time go by. Then again, people might be scared to come near me because they will think Im a lunatic. Maybe I will make a sign that says; “I’m not a lunatic, come talk to me.” Except, that will probably just make people even more sure that I am, in fact, a lunatic. Okay maybe a sign that says; “100 miles of nowhere…cancer sucks…come talk to me.” I like this idea. Im wondering if a lifeguard, or a beach police person will come tell me to get away. Its a completely innocent thing to do..but I wonder if I will get kicked off the beach. What do you think? Ive considered doing something similar in a park with a lake, or some kind of nice view. Decisions.
Next I have to figure out what kind of food/drinks I want to provide myself with, as I will be providing my own race support for this event. If I hold the event in the living room, I have great access to the kitchen…which is awesome! But, I also have great access to the couch…which could be detrimental to my winning. Also, my cyclometer is hooked up to my front wheel, which, in the trainer, is stationary. So, it does not count in the trainer! Damn! Its okay though, I have already figured this out. Again, the rules are very lax, so I have already decided I am going to ride for a set number of hours. Somewhere between six and eight…to be determined before race day.
I have also considered doing a Tri to nowhere, as someone mentioned on Fatty’s blog comments. I could swim in the pool at the gym and get nowhere fast. Then I could come home, get on my trainer and ride nowhere fast…or slow..whatever. And then I could go back to the gym and run nowhere..or at that point walk nowhere. See…all you skeptics..weirdos are riding their spin bikes and running on their treadmills to ‘nowhere’ everyday at gyms across the country! Does’nt sound so lunatic-y when you think about it now does it?
So yes, I have lots of decisions to make and people to call and invite. Whoever actually does some of these miles with me will have a place in my heart forever. Whatever I end up doing, I’m sure it will suck..and I will have a too small awesome fatty t-shirt to show for it!